No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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