Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
