her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
