I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You were trust falling into bushes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
