oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
