hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is Oprah even human
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
