New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
