I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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