alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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