I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
