that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
