I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
