...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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