is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
