sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
