you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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