I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
