I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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