I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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