if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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