If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
