he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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