what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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