The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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