Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
