Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
