It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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