Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
