Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
