im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
