you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is Oprah even human
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
