Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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