i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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