One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize