I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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