Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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