I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
