wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
