Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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