one two three fourrrrnication!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize