Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
