How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
