i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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