Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
