Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just high enough for therapy.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
