it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
