Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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