You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
