Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
