i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
