But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
