oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't EVER smell your tampon
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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