i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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