brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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