try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
