I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
