Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize