I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
