You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
