I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
