if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
