With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
